What is enjoyable for you may not be for someone else, and that is OK. Some things are commonly enjoyed by teens, but not by all. Turning 13 does not mean suddenly you wake up and everything has changed. [1] X Research source
Remember the media presents teenagers inaccurately. Teens and their lives are often very narrowly portrayed on TV, movies, and literature. Don’t base your ideas on popular (or once-popular) dramas about teen life. Likewise, be careful of comparing yourself or others to actors in teenage dramas. Often these actors are in their 20s, sometimes even 30s. They’re often unusually talented with their hair and makeup professionally done. The homemade videos on YouTube that feature actual teenagers are far more realistic and accurate than the movies and TV.
Of course, there are some limits to this. You may want to speak your mind, for example, and it’s okay to have your opinions, but you don’t want to offend people or start an argument in an inappropriate place. Some social rules, such as not hitting annoying people, are important to follow. Learn when it’s important to listen to social rules, and not what you think.
Consider “balancing” your interests so that you have a wide variety. For example, if your biggest hobby is computer programming, maybe try a more art-oriented hobby like painting, or learn a language. Just because you’re a “tech nerd” or an “art geek” doesn’t mean your interests have to stick firmly in that area. It’s boring to have interests that are only in one area. Explore your style and your interests. Now is the time to experiment; don’t feel the need to stick to just one niche. From fashion to hobbies to music and movies, you can explore all kinds of possible interests. Don’t feel bound by tradition or labels: if you like to dress like someone who likes rock music, and you really love country music, that’s fine. Do what you enjoy.
You don’t have to be an all-A’s student that’s taking only Honors or AP-level classes, but you should at least do your best to pass the classes you’re in. Avoid slacking off, as this hurts your grades. That said, do your best to recognize when you know something’s not right or you need help. Do not struggle alone! Don’t rush on your homework because you want to hang out with friends—work on it to learn new things. A largely forgotten fact is that school is meant for learning, not trapping you in a classroom for a few hours each day.
If you have a disability like autism or ADHD, don’t assume that you’re doomed to be bad at socializing. People with disabilities can be charming in unique ways, especially if you work on being kind and developing good habits.
Keep in mind that there may be something going on that you don’t know about. A “clingy” guy may have been abandoned by a parent during childhood. A “hyper” girl may have ADHD and be struggling to keep friendships. Try to be understanding. Remember that just because you’ve had a bad experience with a person doesn’t mean that they’re a bad person.
Don’t laugh at people when they make mistakes like dropping or spilling things. Instead, offer help. This can help turn around a bad day, even if they don’t show their appreciation outright.
Find friends who make you feel good and inspire you to be your best. Hang out with friends you really like, and worry less about maintaining relationships with people who don’t improve your life. Friends come and go, and you may have different types and numbers of friends. That’s okay. How many friends you have isn’t important; it’s the quality of the friends you do have that matters, as cliché as that sounds! If you struggle to find friends, try looking in areas where people are similar to you. Are you LGBT, for example? See if there’s a teen LGBT group in your city, or if your school has a GSA that you could join. If you prefer writing over socializing, see if you can find writer’s groups. If you’re autistic, try seeking out other autistic people to befriend. Try going on social media if you can’t find friends face-to-face. However, be very careful with this. Online friendships develop much differently than face-to-face friendships, and many people online are not who they say they are—you never know what goes on behind the screen. Sometimes it may not be even an actual human you are talking to. Exercise caution when making friends online, and never agree to meet up with somebody in private. Avoid giving out personal information to people you meet online unless you are sure that they can be trusted. It is best to meet people in real life first before meeting them on the internet.
Make peace with things when a relationship doesn’t work out. It’s normal for it to hurt for a while. Remember that just because the relationship wasn’t right doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person; sometimes two people are just a bad fit. And if you did do something wrong, you can learn from it for next time. It can be okay. Be wary of abusive relationships. If you feel like you have to constantly walk on eggshells around your partner to try and avoid them getting angry at you or hitting you, or if you can’t talk to anybody else without your partner accusing you of cheating, these are huge red flags that the relationship is unhealthy and that you need to get out of it! The same applies for toxic friendships.
You don’t have to be best friends with everyone in your family, but be kind to them and spend time with them once in a while; play a video game with your sister, help your brother with his writing, offer to go on a walk with your mom, or play a board game with your dad. Don’t just stay in your room all day and only see your family at meals. Improve your relationship with your siblings. It’s fine to argue and bicker with siblings here and there, but remember that your sibling relationship is usually one of the longest in your life. Siblings can be great allies, mentors, and friends, not just now, but also when you’re old and grey. Watch out for abusive family members. Your family can be some of the closest friends you have, but they can also negatively impact your life. If your parents constantly make you feel down, they may be emotionally abusing you. If your brother constantly hits you, that’s a sign of physical abuse. Usually, talking things out with a close friend or confronting your abuser can lessen the hurt, but know when to report child abuse. Keep close to your extended family, such as your cousins, too; make an effort to spend time with them when you can. You probably don’t see your extended family often, so take advantage of the time you do have to hang out with them!
Volunteering doesn’t have to happen outside of the home. If you have an internet connection, you can volunteer online—for example, editing wikiHow articles about your favorite subjects.
It’s okay to turn down a tutoring offer. If you can’t tutor the neighbor’s son because he’s too loud and disruptive, or if you aren’t good at a subject that somebody needs help with, it’s okay to politely say, “I’m sorry, I can’t do that job” or “I don’t think your child and I work together very well. " You can either choose to get paid for tutoring or do it for free. If you do choose to make it a job, however, don’t overcharge. Few people will hire you if you charge ten dollars an hour!
Be sure you know what group the activity is supporting. Some groups are well known for being surrounded by controversy. Do careful research on an organization before participating in any of their events. You don’t want to support something that causes more harm than good.
