Words of affirmation: compliments, stating your positive feelings, saying “I love you. ” Quality time: giving your undivided attention to your partner. Gifts: physical symbols of love such as flowers, jewelry, tools. Acts of service: walking the dog, cleaning the kitchen. Physical touch: having sex (if they’re comfortable and ready), holding hands, giving affection.
You may feel more comfortable writing out your feelings than saying them out loud, so write cards or letters to your partner. Leave notes for your partner to show you think about her and care for her. You can even try to express your love in other languages if you are too shy to say it in your native tongue—just make sure your partner understands what you’re saying!
Recognize that some people prefer more affection than others. Talk with your partner about what he appreciates, how he likes to be touched, and whether touch is appropriate in public.
You don’t always have to make date nights romantic; have fun! Do something goofy or choose an activity that you can laugh at and enjoy together.
Express your gratitude through words or through a note. You can give gifts that express gratitude, such as flowers or a beautiful meal or something special that you choose.
If your partner expresses a need and you are tired, distracted, or overwhelmed, don’t neglect your partner. Turn toward your partner and connect. Kindness is important during fights, too. Treat your partner with kindness, and recognize when you have not been kind to your partner and repair the damage.
Engage wholeheartedly with your partner. Ask questions and show your enthusiasm.
Show that you are listening and understanding your partner. Reach out with affection. Use a common connector, like humor.
