If you don’t think you have a problem, but everyone tells you there is a problem, try to see if there is truth to it. If you are having trouble admitting you have a problem, you might be in denial. For example, if you don’t want to accept that a close family member is involved with drugs, you might come up with other excuses for her behavior. While denial can be useful at times by protecting your mental health, it can in other cases lead you away from dealing with the problem head on. [2] X Research source In fact, avoidance often exacerbates the problem and doesn’t provide any lasting relief. Avoiding your problem will continue to create a cycle of stress for you as it will always be weighing on the back of your mind. That said, sometimes a little escapism can be healthy. If you find yourself overwhelmed and stressed out, take a break! Watch a TV show or read a book, or engage in some other hobby you enjoy. You could even just zone out and let your mind wander![3] X Research source
You can avoid catastrophizing by being cognizant of when you are doing it. This requires that you monitor your own thoughts and try to check them for accuracy. You can monitor your thoughts by remembering to think about them and by asking yourself if someone else had that thought, would you think they were being accurate?
If you think you know when the problem started, think about events that happened at that time. The root cause might be related to it. For example, if your grades started slipping in school after your father moved away, maybe you’re having a hard time adjusting to this change.
For example, your problem might be that you don’t manage to make it to school on time. By changing a few habits or making different transportation arrangements, this can be changed. Some things can’t be changed, such as a permanent disability or the death of a loved one, but you can learn to live with it and thrive in the wake of it. Also keep in mind that people often think negative events will make them feel worse and worse for longer than they actually do. [6] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Telling yourself this isn’t the end of the world doesn’t mean your problem is not really a problem or is insignificant. It just helps you internalize that your problems are not insurmountable.
Dealing with problems and solving them can make you more competent and also more empathetic toward others who have their own problems.
For example, if your problem is that you don’t have enough money, you could write that down. You could also write down the implications of that problem to drive home the point and motivate you to solve it. An implication of not having enough money might be that you are stressed out and that you can’t enjoy the kinds of things that you would like to. If the problem isn’t something private, put the list somewhere you see it so you don’t forget to act on it. For example, you might put it on your fridge.
If you’re going to talk to someone else who has the same problem, you will need to be tactful. Let her know that you just want to learn so you can solve it, too.
It’s okay to feel upset, angry, worried so long as you know that being upset, angry or worried won’t help solve the problem. You will have to take action to solve the problem. Still, these emotions can help you realize you have a problem, as well as suggest its source. Some ways to calm down when you’re feeling upset include: focusing on your breathing, count to 10 (or higher if you need to), gently talk yourself down (tell yourself “it’s going to be alright,” or “take it easy. “). Try going for a walk or run or listening to calming music. [11] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
To find a mental health professional, try this website: http://locator. apa. org/
Consider talking to people who have been through something similar or are professionals in the subject related to your problem. For example, if your problem is academic related, talk to your teacher about it or another student who has already done the subject or course you’re having difficulty with. Understanding how problems come to be might help you face them better. Refocusing your attention on solving the problem will help decrease unproductive emotional tendencies such as guilt and anxiety, which can stymie problem solving skills and capabilities.
Make sure that when you seek out advice, it’s from a licensed professional in their field, which proves they have the skills needed to help you with your particular problem. There are people who might claim to be an expert. If they are lacking the right credentials, chances are they aren’t.
Try asking them how they coped with and solved the problem you share. You may find yourself so wrapped up in your problem that an obvious solution evades you, but it may not evade others. [13] X Research source
Consider the anatomy of the problem. Usually a problem is not just one problem alone - it has consequences and affects other areas of your life. Which part of the problem do you think you should address first? For example, if your problem is that you never get to go on vacation, sub-problems may be that it is difficult for you to get time off of work, and it is difficult for you to save money to be able to afford a vacation. You could address these sub-problems separately: You could cut back on eating out while simultaneously talking to your boss about how you are burnt out and could use a week off, and make a case that you would ultimately be more productive in the long run if allowed to recuperate.
Whether the solution will, in fact, solve your problem. How efficient the solution is in terms of the time and other resources it will require. How you might feel it you choose that solution relative to another solution. What the costs and benefits of the solution are. Whether this solution has worked for others in the past.
As you engage in your plan, reward yourself for your small successes so you are more likely to stick with it when the going gets tough! Resist the temptation to avoid your problems if your plans don’t work. Remember not to catastrophize –just because one solution didn’t solve the problem, that doesn’t mean there isn’t another method to solve your problem.
