You can also look online for support groups for your specific fear. How have others handled their fears and overcome them? What can you learn from them? And, of course, there’s always wikiHow. Does one of these articles speak to you? How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking How to Overcome Your Fear of Clowns How to Overcome Your Fear of Needles How to Overcome Your Fear of Strangers How to Overcome Your Fear of Spiders How to Overcome Your Fear of Flying
You may want to group similar fears together, especially if you’re afraid of a lot of different things. It’s a good idea to start a fear journal. Whenever you feel overcome with the fear, grab your handy dandy notebook and get to journaling. Not only is it a good outlet, but it can ground you and help you realize that you do have a grip on the situation after all. It can also help you get some distance from the things you’re afraid of. [3] X Trustworthy Source University of Rochester Medical Center Leading academic medical center in the U. S. focused on clinical care and research Go to source
For example, if you were hiking and came across a bear, feeling afraid would be a perfectly normal and healthy response, because you’re in a dangerous situation. On the other hand, if you refuse to travel on airplanes because you’re afraid the plane will crash, this fear is largely irrational. Flying is statistically much safer than driving your own car. [5] X Research source Understanding when fear makes sense and when it doesn’t can help you conquer your responses.
For example: imagine that you’re afraid of flying, and even getting near planes makes you nervous. At the bottom of your ladder, have studying the mechanics behind flying as your step (no more “the wings are just supported by magic!”). Next, have “going to the airport. " This is slightly more advanced, but still not too scary: you’re just going to go the airport, not actually take a flight. Then, you could book a short, 30-minute flight with a friend. At the very top rung, you’d take a longer flight by yourself. It’s a good idea to start with something fairly small. Some people make the mistake of jumping straight into fighting the one thing they fear the most, but exposure works best when it’s gradual. Anxiety BC has a sample fear ladder form, if you aren’t sure what it should look like. [7] X Research source
One way to do this is to switch from thinking about the absolute worst-case scenario to the best-case scenario. For example, imagine that you really want to scuba dive but are focused on the worst-case scenarios: you get eaten by a shark, your oxygen cuts out, you drown. While these are possibilities, they’re pretty slim: for example, you have a 1 in 3,700,000 chance of being killed by a shark. (By way of comparison, you have a 1 in 2600 chance of being injured by an air freshener. ) In contrast, your chances of having an incredible experience doing this thing you’re afraid of are very high. Why resist doing something that could bring you so much joy and beauty?[9] X Research source Arming yourself with statistics can help. While irrational fears are, well, irrational, you can help combat a tendency to catastrophize – or immediately jump to the absolute worst-case scenario – by learning some facts about what you’re afraid of. For example, if you learn that out of the 7,000,000 North American flights between 1992-2001, only 30 crashed, your fear of flying may become slightly harder to justify to yourself. [10] X Research source
There are several different treatment techniques a mental health professional might suggest for you. Prescription medications such as beta blockers and antidepressants can help you manage the anxiety and stress caused by your fear, while cognitive behavioral therapy can help you rewire your thinking so you eventually feel in control of your emotions. Exposure therapy, which is what many of the steps in this article involve, also has a good track record for combating specific fears, especially ones linked to a particular object or experience (riding in elevators, seeing sharks, etc. ). [13] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
This is particularly apt for social fears, which often stem from a fear of being rejected and a lack of self-compassion. If you wouldn’t reject someone you loved for doing something, chances are that most people won’t reject you either. (And if they do, that says much more about them than it does about you. )
This can take practice. At the beginning, start with just 5 minutes of visualization. When it becomes easy, move it to 10. Then, spend as much time as you need to get in the zone.
Lie down in a comfortable, quiet place. Focus on tensing the muscles in one muscle group, such as your hand or forehead. Maintain the tension for 5 seconds. Relax. Feel the relaxation spreading throughout that muscle group. Repeat this process with major muscle groups, such as your facial muscles, hands, upper arms, back, stomach, hips and buttocks, thighs, calves, and feet.
Lie on your back and place your hand on your stomach. As you breathe in through your nose, you should feel your stomach expanding. Then, slowly release your breath through your mouth. Repeat this at least 10 times.
Mindfulness can also improve your concentration and create a deeper sense of well-being and acceptance.
For example, if you’re terrified of traveling but love going to see your family who lives far away from you, try transforming the nervous energy you feel about getting on the plane or train into excitement about your ultimate goal. You may be a little uncomfortable for a few moments, but you will be so happy when you’ve refused to let your fear keep you from your visit. [19] X Research source
Don’t belittle your own accomplishments. You’ve probably had more successes than you realize, even if they aren’t gigantic things like being President of the United States. Did you graduate from high school? File your taxes on time? Cook your own dinner? These are all successes.
20 seconds of embarrassing bravery. 20 seconds of insatiable gusto. 20 seconds of irrepressible awesome. You can manage that, right? You can fake it for 1/3 of ONE minute? Because after that first 20 seconds is over, it’s all downhill from there.
If you’re afraid of a static experience, such as a fear of heights, try to stick with exposure for as long as you can handle it (e. g. , looking over the railing from the second floor of the mall). If you’re afraid of an action or object, repeat the action as many times as you can until you feel less anxiety while doing it (e. g. , saying hello to everyone you encounter in the supermarket). The longer you face the situation or thing you’re afraid of, the more likely you are to break the fear cycle. However, if your distress becomes unbearable, don’t feel bad! It’s okay to take a break and begin again another day.
Tell your family and friends your plan for facing your fears and ask them to be there with you as you experience it. Let them know how you’ll probably react and what you need from them. They will probably be glad to support you.
For example, if you have a big speech to make and it scares you, talk with a friend about it. You could even practice giving your speech to a few close people who love you. Practicing in front of people you feel comfortable with several times first may give you the confidence you need to succeed when you give the speech for real.
You’d be surprised at how easily you can trick your own mind. For example, did you know that making yourself smile can actually make you happier? It’s the same principle behind pretending that you’re confident when you might be feeling really scared inside. [27] X Research source
When you hit the end-all-be-all of fears, reward yourself with the end-all-be-all of rewards. The bigger the fear, the bigger your reward. Plan it out for something to look forward to! Everyone needs motivation. When you have rewards, when you have other people who know about your progress, you’ll be more pressured to succeed. And if you think positively, you will.
